Thursday, May 7, 2020

It's your choices, more than your abilities, that end up defining you

So, who do you want to be?

You make choices every day. ..... Some are more important and significant than others though, aren't they?

What will you eat for lunch? ..... What will you watch on TV? ...... Which will you wear today? ..... These types of choices aren't too life defining - although I suppose if you eat junk food every day, then it may become more life defining.

But there are other choices you make that are not as trivial and have far wider consequences. .... Choices about the career direction you take. Choices about the relationships you cultivate and the friendships you make, and who you turn to for advice. Choices about the people you will avoid. Choices about money. Choices about whether you smoke, drink, or do drugs .....

Making life choices

Choices about whether you run with the pack, or whether you carefully choose your friends and become your own person....... Choices about whether you will stay quiet when you see something that is unfair and wrong - or whether you will stand up, speak up and be heard.

These are the types of choices that carry with them far more serious consequences - and longer term effects. And so if you choose without proper thought, or if you choose just to please someone else, then you risk later paying a much bigger price than what you might have ever imagined.

So, every so often, step back from what's going on in your life ..... Take a few deep breaths - and ask yourself these questions - Who do you want to be? ..... What sort of person do you want to become? ... What are you wanting to achieve with your life? .....Will the choices you are making now move you closer towards your dreams and goals?

Making good choices

So, what are the keys to making good decisions and choices? ...... Well one key is to consider all your options before you choose. Another key is to take the time to gather any information that you might need - so you can make an informed choice, rather than an impulsive or emotional one.

If you feel that you might benefit from gaining some advice from other people, make sure that you ask the right people - people who care about you and have your best interests at heart. People who have some valuable experience that they can share with you. Sometimes other people might help you to see an option that you'd completely overlooked .....  But at the end of the day, despite the ideas and suggestions others might offer to you - it will still be your choice. You will be the one paying the price when you make life choices - so think it through carefully. But equally, know when you've given it enough thought and it's time for you to take action

Own up if you've made some wrong choices
Sometimes when you do some honest self-reflection and look back on things, you might realise that you've made some bad choices. You might even feel like those choices have brought you to a bad place ....... But you can start changing your life now by making different choices

Hey - we've all made mistakes. Admit it, learn from it - and then choose to move forward, and not look backwards. Vow to yourself that you will choose better in the future! Don't beat yourself up for those wrong choices - you'll know better next time

Your choices end up defining your life. You were born with some God-given talents, potential and abilities ..... You may not yet have completely recognised what they are - but they are there. There is a giant within each of us. Personal development is about the journey of discovering that giant. And when you do discover your true potential, this treasure that lies within you - then you make choices about whether you will apply yourself and live to your potential.

More than your abilities, more than your talents - it is the choices you make that will determine how far you go in life. And no-one said that making the right choice is always going to be easy. You will have to grapple with uncertainty. Sometimes, you need to be prepared to make some tough choices that cost you in the short-term - but you gain the rewards in the longer-term...... Choose to work hard today - so you can enjoy tomorrow.

So my wish for you, is that you choose wisely. And that your choices are one's that bring you closer towards enjoying a life of happiness, peace-of-mind and purpose

Before we finish - here's a short video clip on the theme of choosing your friends wisely ..... Choose friends that encourage you and want to support you to be successful. Choose friends who will help to bring the best out of you

Here's another short video on the same theme of choosing your friends - with this guy's message being that good friends' don't judge you .... They respect your choices and accept you for who you are - giving you the freedom to be yourself,. Good friends don't make you feel that you have to try to be "cool" and pressure you to "fit in" .... With a good friend, you can be yourself. You're born into a family, but you can choose your friends
Will you choose to live a remarkable life? ..... Will you make the easy choice or the right choice? Will you live a safe life ruled by fear, or will you live a life of service and adventure? .... Here's the inspiring graduation speech given by Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, to the graduating class of Princeton University a couple of years ago ......

Remember,.kindness and generosity of spirit is a choice that you can make, to approach life with an open heart. Your true character will be revealed through the choices you make when no-one is watching ....Are you choosing to be the best person you can be?

About the author
Hi, my name's Brian Carroll, I'm the founder of Performance Development, I'm a qualified psychologist with a passion for helping people achieve their goals in life and business. This article was inspired by a wise friend of mine, Dave Simmons and some advice about life that he shared with his daughter some years ago. If you want to find out more about me, go to my Google + profile

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